I went to Al-Anon this week (I've forgotten already which night it was), and picked up some new lingo. Apparently my afflicted associate is referred to as a Qualifier. The meeting was fine; the leader of the group was too talky and so I didn't get as much out of it as I'd hoped. I have a nagging suspicion I may know her from another time in my life, and just not remember now. It's all anonymous so whoopty doo if I do. If I cared more, I would give it more thought. I'm not sure I'll be able to attend that session again, so it really doesn't matter. She's not a librarian, she's not a lawyer's wife, she's... could be a teacher, but I doubt it. She is a middle aged mother, I assume her children are not far off of my age. Ohhhhhh for fuck's sake. Now I will be thinking about it on my bike ride. I recognize her teeth, I think. I will have to think harder because my 35-year-old brain is addled.
Anyway, nice tangent. I immediately lost the schedule of meetings when I got home. I was in two places! I cannot find it for the life of me and don't want T to find it, but he probably will. I've had conversations with him and my uncle and I just hope I haven't pushed too hard. Maybe AA Is The Way for this boy. It isn't my decision.
Can't find my cell phone. Very annoying. Reapplied to the University for summer and fall. I have to start somewhere. As soon as I got on campus, I lost my keys and had to spend 45 minutes looking for them. Just like old times. I also literally shat my pants. I ..... tried to pass wind..... and it was more than wind.... charming. I have issues with this school, clearly. It wasn't more than a Browning, a fierce liquidish spot undetectable to the human eye or nose. But Paul was with me, and bizarrely stuck his thumb and pointer finger up my crack as I mounted the stair, thereby MAKING CONTACT BETWEEN MY BUTT AND THE WET FABRIC OF MY PANTS. WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK??? WHO DOES THAT? I was like, what are you doing? STOP THAT! Apparently he meant to do something else, but I moved. I was like, I just wet farted myself. Mortifying. It's very strange to be walking around the campus as a 35 year old resuming my studies. Right away I felt like an extra on a bad college movie set. It was bizarre. It was like visiting your elementary school when you're in junior high. My body is like 60 pounds heavier than the last time I was a student. That's a lot of girth to be dragging around. The campus is totally different as well. They've put up a bunch of new buildings, including an entirely new student union, and all the students look like 20 year olds. I feel I may get an automatic, unwarranted amount of respect from these twerps because I'm clearly O-L-D.
I'm glad my mind has changed as much as my body. I'm coming to conquer that place, like King Kong. Where's my banana.
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